am i a rebel?

The last three Sundays when I've gone to church, I've sat right up the back.

My church building is kinda like two halls joined together with a big opening in between. The front half is the main area where all the pews are. The back half is our area for standing around and talking after the service with a cuppa and a bikkie. (It's also used for other things as well as a "passage way" to the toilets and the creche room.) Along the very back wall are some seats. I've been sitting there. Actually a few people seem to sit up the back. Some for more official reasons (like if anyone needs help, or someone wanders in off the street during the service...or whatever). Some teenagers come and sit with me and we have some soft chatter before they go to their group time. Sometimes parents bring their little kids up the back for a while too.

During the sermon, I've been pulling out my knitting. Now perhaps I just worry too much about what people may think of me but up the back I feel more free to just be me. To be real. Actually, it would be a pretty good guess to say less people than I think would arch up about me knitting in church than I originally thought. I've had a few inquiries--during the service--about what I'm knitting. I don't think my pastor minds. The small group I go to during the week is at his house and I knit/crochet all the time there but still participate in the discussion. It's not like we knitters can't handle some needles or a hook AND talk and listen. We're a talented bunch. ^^

Up the back, I'm not confined to a pew. I can stand or sit whenever I want without looking like a nong. I can even sit cross-legged on the floor if I wish. I also like seeing the church--the people--in the regular, everyday aspect. Up the back you see parents dealing with kids, brief, quiet interactions, people grabbing a drink of water from the kitchen or a tissue, heating up a bottle... Stuff that makes us, church, look like regular people. It makes me feel less like I need to meet some structured stiffened (self-inflicted) false idea of what kind of Christian I should be in church.

I also like it coz I can knit. I'm not a distraction to those around me. And by mid service, after the singing when it's sit and listen time, I'm hitting my mid-morning slump. Knitting keeps my hands busy which helps me focus. So I find knitting during the service helpful, productive and relaxing.

So am I a rebel?? Yeah, I'd probably say I was. But not in a bad way. And I honestly don't think God minds. I'm just trying to be me and learn how to connect with God in the reality of me.
And this is my little project carry bag. I made it a month or so ago. Made of some red cordaroy and coloured spotty fabric I had. Pouch shaped with a circular bottom, drawstring with a yellow button and a handy wristlet handle. I've yet to attempt walking and knitting but I reckon it would work well. This little bag has been to the Sunday morning church service with me. And look how long my second sock is getting. You can see I'm past the heel (pink on this sock) and knitting the foot. Two months to go.